If you read my Midnight Snack Musings post, you’ll know that my brain occasionally frequently goes into fart mode, usually when it shouldn’t. Here are ten thoughts I’ve had whilst painting my face.
- Photoshopping is like putting on digital makeup.
- Is it socially acceptable if I go out with huge cat whiskers on my cheeks, drawn with an eyeliner pen?
- I wonder if I’ve ever finished an entire tube of lipstick.
- I once had a mint green mascara as a kid. Maybe I should wear mint green mascara again.
- My face is so hairy.
- Damn it, I do look better with makeup on.
- It’s funny how makeup products claim to be the most long-lasting stuff there is and makeup removers claim to be able to remove the most long-lasting makeup products… who’s winning?
- My brows are like two spoilt children who play up as soon as I make any attempt to keep them in order.
- I should just finish using all the makeup I currently have, and then buy new stuff only when I have a clean slate. Hasn’t happened yet.
- We should apply blush in perfectly round circles, using the pinkest pink there is. If Russian dolls can work it, so can we.
What about you? If any of these sound familiar to you, or you’ve had some wacky stuff go through your mind when it comes to beauty, I’d love to hear it! You go girl.
– J
The featured image for this post has been designed on canva.com by J, exclusively for Beauty’s Expert Amateur.
Good lord, I feel like if I wrote down my rambling brain thoughts while I was putting on makeup it would be alot like..
hmmm, colours, dab dab dab, shit, poke… ow, damn dog always wants outside when im doing my brows, makes me look crazy when I go outside. mmm wish wish wish, touch, ouch, where did that hair come from? Get out of here. Damn it. Oh… that black stuff doesn’t go there. I should wear more bright colours, you can’t you work in a corporate job.. Who put that blue lipstick on you? Oh well.. better go, too late to change it. OW MY TOE STUPID CHAIR.
I get ready at 4:30 in the morning, can you tell?
Ahahaa this is so accurate. Don’t forget “ugh mascara on my nose and upper lid AGAIN” followed by lots of blasphemy. I can totally relate to the “I should wear more bright colours” thing. Also I don’t know how you do it, I’m still in solid REM sleep at 4.30am. xx
I have seriously considered filming it lol . And actually mumbling everything out loud.
Oh please do, it’ll get you a job at Buzzfeed within about 5 minutes after uploading.
Buzzfeeds best video is the new puppy one, if you haven’t seen it you should check it out. They partnered with a dog food company, and it’s 100% accurate of getting your first puppy lol
Is it this one? If not, link pls. I desperately need a dose of puppy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3MtFGWRXAA
YES! It’s so good lol
Haha yesss, Chloe the puppy is adorable! Probably dives into the bag of puppy chow when he’s not looking
My baby girl was like that lol
Did it help!
Why do some women wax off all their eye brows just to turn around and draw them on?? I never understood.
Nah, I don’t get it either. Seems like too much effort, and my hair grows back so fast anyway. Each to their own, eh? x
This is funny 🙂 thanks for sharing! I hope to someday finish an entire tube of lipstick lol.
Haha you and me both! Thanks for stopping by and following my blog x
Haha! My thoughts ” Is wearing body glitter to a funeral tasteless….nahhhh””
https://damngirlgetyourshittogether.com/
Hahaa, I’m sure someone has done it at some point! 😀
This was funny to read really. I don’t use make up, but I can definitely relate. I once read on a blog on thoughts she had while in the toilet. Literally “farting” 😂😂
You can try out the cat whiskers thing and tell us how well it was received 😅😹
Haha my thoughts on the toilet are pretty unoriginal (farting is definitely one of them!) 😀 I would looove to do the cat whiskers thing! Maybe one day x
DO IT!!! 😂😂😂
That’ll be a PRETTY bold one…which I’m not sure I can manage if it’s not a costume kinda meet.
Yeah… maybe a cat-themed bloggers costume party. Actually I’d totally do that!
Love these, so funny! I’ve definitely thought about whether I’ve ever finished my products before. So far I’ve finished mascara and eyeliner and I think one time eyeshadow, but never lipstick.
Kathrin — http://mycupofenglishtea.wordpress.com
You’ve finished eyeliner? 😮 You’re some other kind of ninja.
Yes, I have liquid ones and finish them all the time, because I use it every day.
That’s impressive, I’m struggling with liquid eyeliner enough as it is 😀 x
Been using it for a year, it works great. Except some days it smudges and then I have to start all over again ..
Yeah, sadly… but practice does make perfect!
Absolutely!
My face is so hairy too 😭
http://sayeedahsparkles.com
9 though 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It is so trueeee. I’m an incurable hoarder
Oh oops I actually meant 8 lol 8 about the eyebrows had me cracking up 😂
Ohh haha! Maybe I’ve just been a terrible parent to my eyebrows 😀
That is too funny!!! I actually have finished a tube of lipstick! #9 is great and my face is so hairy!!! LOL
You finished a whole lipstick? Damnn… I need some of that sorcery in my life. Also sometimes i think I must have bear genes
lol Yeah, it was just once!
😂😂😂 OMG, priceless! I may read this everyday!
Hahaa maybe I should do a “Daily Brain Farts” series! 😛
Oh. Please do it! 😂
Haha I’ll dedicate it to you! 😀
A dedication of brain farts. .. possibly the best gift ever!
Hahaha some say that christmas came early 😂
😂
This is a very relatable list! My biggest thought is – my eyes are completely different shape – as I draw on eyeliner and – why do I struggle to find my actual lip line!😂 x
Haha omg yes, the lip line is definitely one too! It always seems to blend into my actual skin, then I realise that’s just redness 😀
haha totally true and always #9 for me! I really try hard to finish the products I have but sometimes I tend to buy new ones and forget about the old lol
Haha I know what you mean! I’m such a hoarder it’s ridiculous
Oh this is so funny! I love the eyebrow one. Never do I ever finish a product before buying a new one, I’m a hoarder and as soon as I hit pan on anything I get all OCD and need a new one X
Haha I know, right! I’m exactly the same with lip balms, bit like a cat that leaves food around the edge of the bowl and looks at you all like, “That’s empty.”
#9 is me for sure! I also often think “oh no, I forgot mascara AGAIN!” I get ready tooooo early!
Hahaa we’re just not morning people! They should make mascaras with flashing LED packaging so that we’ll never forget them x
Yes!!!! Now that’s a great idea!
God! They are so realatable and it was funny! Loved it!
And I think almost all the time about going out with cat whiskers!
Hi Sara 🙂 You should totally do it! Thanks for stopping by xx
Hey! If I have that guts to do it and I just realized I spell relatable wrong! He he!
9nth one is so me. Hahaha, when I look at my collection I’m like I would never use this up, but I should stop buying makeup for real. I don’t think it will ever happen. xx
Haha yayyy I’m so glad I’m not the only one! 😀