I don’t sleep well. Let’s get that out there – I find it hard to fall asleep when I’m supposed to fall asleep, and I fall into deep slumber at the most inconvenient times and places (ie. on the train). Why? Maybe I don’t tire myself out enough during the day, maybe I shouldn’t watch action thrillers before bed, maybe I need to do more yoga. I don’t know. Nevertheless, my brain has a mind of its own (very literally, actually) and I’ve just come to accept it for what it is because you gotta love all parts of yourself etc etc. Here are some of the most common thoughts that my brain indulges in when I REALLY need to get to sleep.
Oh hey, remember that creepy scene in the film we just watched? That doll looks just like the one you had as a kid.
Really, brain? You’re doing this to me now?
*Starts visualising the doll in extreme detail and coming up with ways to make the scene even creepier*
Doesn’t help that I’m in the dark, you know.
Let’s really hone in on that awkward moment we had earlier today.
Yeah, that was one of my more awkward moments and we know I’m the queen of awkward so let’s just forget about it and pretend it never happened.
*Replays awkward moment in extreme detail and imagines even more awkward potential outcomes*
You’ve put on weight. I can feel your belly rolls spreading out on the mattress when you lie on your side.
Thanks, brain. That dessert was so worth it though, nothing like a good cheesecake to end (or start) the day. I kid, I kid, who in their right mind would have cheesecake for breakfast??? Definitely NOT me.
Let’s go through every one of your regrets in vivid detail.
If you fell asleep right now, you’d have exactly x hours of sleep.
I threw hopes of getting 8 hours out the window a long time ago. Thanks brain!
*Sets 5 alarms at 5 minute intervals before I’m supposed to get up so that I don’t oversleep*
What’s on our to-do list for tomorrow?
Well, I’m up now.
What about you? Are you a fellow insomniac? I’d love to hear what’s plaguing you and your brain – put it in the comments below! You go girl.
Disclaimer: J is not a licensed sleep psychologist. However, she has truly mastered the art of keeping herself awake all night long and sometimes blogs about it.