My Brain’s Bedtime Escapades

I don’t sleep well. Let’s get that out there – I find it hard to fall asleep when I’m supposed to fall asleep, and I fall into deep slumber at the most inconvenient times and places (ie. on the train). Why? Maybe I don’t tire myself out enough during the day, maybe I shouldn’t watch action thrillers before bed, maybe I need to do more yoga. I don’t know. Nevertheless, my brain has a mind of its own (very literally, actually) and I’ve just come to accept it for what it is because you gotta love all parts of yourself etc etc. Here are some of the most common thoughts that my brain indulges in when I REALLY need to get to sleep.

  • Oh hey, remember that creepy scene in the film we just watched? That doll looks just like the one you had as a kid.

Really, brain? You’re doing this to me now?

*Starts visualising the doll in extreme detail and coming up with ways to make the scene even creepier*

Doesn’t help that I’m in the dark, you know.

  • Let’s really hone in on that awkward moment we had earlier today.

Yeah, that was one of my more awkward moments and we know I’m the queen of awkward so let’s just forget about it and pretend it never happened.

*Replays awkward moment in extreme detail and imagines even more awkward potential outcomes*

  • You’ve put on weight. I can feel your belly rolls spreading out on the mattress when you lie on your side.

Thanks, brain. That dessert was so worth it though, nothing like a good cheesecake to end (or start) the day. I kid, I kid, who in their right mind would have cheesecake for breakfast??? Definitely NOT me.

  • Let’s go through every one of your regrets in vivid detail.

Let’s not?

  • If you fell asleep right now, you’d have exactly x hours of sleep.

I threw hopes of getting 8 hours out the window a long time ago. Thanks brain!

*Sets 5 alarms at 5 minute intervals before I’m supposed to get up so that I don’t oversleep*

  • What’s on our to-do list for tomorrow?

Well, I’m up now.

What about you? Are you a fellow insomniac? I’d love to hear what’s plaguing you and your brain – put it in the comments below! You go girl.

– J

Disclaimer: J is not a licensed sleep psychologist. However, she has truly mastered the art of keeping herself awake all night long and sometimes blogs about it.

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26 Comments on “My Brain’s Bedtime Escapades”

  1. I can so relate to all of this haha! I have trouble falling asleep all the time, my mind just can’t stop thinking whenever I need it to shush.
    Beside the ones that you’ve mentioned in the post, these are some examples of things that keep me awake:
    1. The Clown from It and the idea it’s in my room
    2. “oh my god I don’t have enough money to pay rent help I need to check my account right now and do my budgeting even though ot’s 3 am”
    3. “what if I don’t get enough sleep and than suck at work tomorrow and than get fired” or “I really need to wakr up early tomorrow to finish all my essayd on time”

    fun, right? 😀

  2. Every single one of these is so accurate! I seem to be reasonably good at blocking out embarrassing memories during the day but come night time, they all come flooding in until I am too overcome by cringiness to sleep :’) Glad I am not alone in these struggles!!

  3. This is SO relatable. All kind of thoughts come flooding in my head once I try to sleep. I’ve had to accept that I’m a night owl and morning at the same time if that’s plausible. Always have to think about the potential amount of hours I have to sleep. x

  4. I don’t really struggle with this now, but whenever I had exams, I also had trouble sleeping and that one where your brain calculates exactly how much sleep you would get if you fell asleep right now – every 5 minutes or so – that was totally me! It’s like your brain is on a mission to annoy you!

  5. Omg this is so me! Things always pop into my head and then I end up being awake for hours. Literally I’ll randomly think like ‘hey what if the jigsaw comes into my room now’. I always think of just random things that happened years ago, can be super frustrating when all you want to do is sleep!x

  6. My brain did that whole ‘lets think about horror movie stuff’ last night… I heard a noise outside and I’m pretty sure it was just a fox but all i could think of was serial killers and whatnot D:

  7. Oh for sure! Catalog every cringe worthy thing I’ve said or done chronologically, obscess over the fine detail of each scene and recall it in Technicolor.
    Visualise every possible disaster that could conceivably befall the boys, make up some more inconceivable ones.
    Think about food, wonder if I’m thirsty, spend next hour being self critical about body image, lack of exercise, and how fat will I allow myself to get?
    Wonder is anyone is reading the blog, wonder why anyone would read the blog, make a ist of ideas to blog about, don’t write any down, fall asleep, forget the list.

  8. This is so relatable! Especially the one with going to bed now! hahaha! Thanks so much for sharing!

  9. I’m like this too! When I try to get some sleep my brain will start thinking about 100 different things like the movie/series I watched, my plans for the next day, memories from school, and blog posts I’m writing lol

Comments and stories welcome!