If we were having coffee… I’d tell you how good it is to see you again.
I’d ramble on about how awful I am at planning get-togethers and setting a time to hang out. I’d probably do that nervous giggle that I do and apologise for how long it’s been – because if we’re sitting down having coffee, chances are it’s been a while since we last saw each other. You’d simply smile and shake your head, because you know exactly what I’m like when it comes to these things.
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I’m so much happier now than I’ve been in too long.
And I’d be able to say it without feeling that all-too-familiar twinge of doubt or having to plaster a smile on because I don’t want to talk about the things that resurface from the back of my mind when I get into bed at night. I’d tell you all about my new job, my amazing colleagues, the cheesecake I made last weekend, my landlady’s adorable cat – and probably show you photos of all the above. I’d tell you how much I’m enjoying blogging and how I wish I had more time to dedicate to it now that I’m working full time.
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you all about my new job and how I’m still in disbelief that I’m here.
I’d probably bore you to no end with all the details of what I do and what I want to accomplish this year, and how much I’m enjoying it all. I’d tell you about the projects I’m getting involved with, and how much I wish we could have more opportunities like this at uni. I probably wouldn’t tell you how much I’m dreading the end of my year here and how surprised I am at how driven I can be in a completely new environment – but you’d know. You’d know how much I want to make the most of every minute here, because you know how I worked my flat little ass off to get here. Because you know how much my career means to me.
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you how much fun it is to be able to rediscover myself.
You’d probably give me a sidelong glance, asking me that age-old question, “Isn’t it lonely being single?” I’d laugh, shaking my head and telling you how I’m anything but lonely. I’d tell you all about how I have the time and space to indulge in the things that I once kicked to the curb because I wasn’t in the right place mentally. I’d tell you how I used to beat myself up on the inside when it became all the more apparent how rusty I was every time I picked it up. I’d tell you how much it hurt knowing that I just wouldn’t be able to achieve the standards I once had at my fingertips – if I wanted my full-time gig to go anywhere. Or maybe I wouldn’t tell you these things – but you’d know. You’d know what a milestone it is for me to be able to rediscover my love for it whilst learning to be forgiving with myself and enjoying it for what it is, rather than reaching in vain for something I used to have. You’d know – because once upon a time, it was something I wanted more than anything in the world.
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that you should come and visit me sometime, and we should definitely do this again.
And maybe I’d make you another cheesecake (and pray it goes as well as the first one did). I’d definitely get plenty of wine to fuel us through a night of chats, girly gossip, rom-coms and whatnot – and set a time and date this time.
Happy Sunday everyone! I’m probably a few months late to this one as usual, but I fancied doing my own take on the “If We Were Having Coffee” post today. Little more of a retrospective one today – you know how much I love writing (and reading) stuff with a more philosophical twist. Hope you enjoyed it! What’s everyone been up to this weekend? Let me know in the comments! You go girl.
Disclaimer: All images used in this post were obtained from Pixabay and edited on Canva.