Midnight Snack Musings 3

I must say, I rather look forward to writing these. My brain churns out plenty of vomit and who better to share it with than you? Yes, you who’s reading this right now – thank you for basking in the ambience of my brain vomit. Here are ten of the latest, juiciest ideas that have crossed my mind during my (many) sleepless nights.

  • I have near-black hair and it roasts on hot, sunny days. I wonder if it gets hot enough to cook an egg on it.

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This would make picnics pretty easy – all I’d need to bring is a tray of eggs and a frying pan. If it could boil a kettle, that would be great too. Breakfast on the go.

  • If Jesus could walk on water, he probably never knew the joys of swimming and skinny dipping. That’s so sad.

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It’s like me trying to swim in soil. Oh that’s sad. So very sad.

  • I always feel slightly asthmatic after eating McDonald’s.

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As they say, I can literally feel my arteries clogging. I know that has no link to asthma, but you know what I mean. It’s rather alarming.

  • Whilst having a nightmare, the logical thing to do would be to pinch myself so that I wake up, but I never do.

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I always promise myself that I’ll do the pinching thing the next time I have a nightmare. I never do. The problem is, they just feel so real whilst they’re happening.

  • I am awful at foundation shade matching despite the fact that I look at my face in the mirror a few hundred times a day.

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Come to Superdrug with me sometime, you’ll see what I mean. I’ll walk out looking like a patchwork of different foundation shades.

  • Mosquitoes are like little druggies that go around sharing needles with everyone.

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Filthy little things. I used to get mosquito bites all over my arms and legs as a child, maybe they’re just repelled by my natural body smells awesomeness now.

  • I fall asleep so easily anywhere but in my own bed.

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Particularly on the train, that white noise is my kryptonite. It’s a miracle that I haven’t slept through my stop yet. Touching wood as I type this.

  • Your belly button is a scar that never goes away.

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It’s like a permanent reminder that you were once a leeching parasite in your mother’s womb.

  • If “I love you to the moon and back” is supposedly a metaphor for the sheer amount of love we have for someone, why don’t we say “I love you to Pluto and back”?

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I guess logic just isn’t sexy enough, you know?

  • Why does my brain do so much work when it doesn’t need to?

I think the fact that this series is called the MIDNIGHT Snack Musings says it all.

Have you had any of these thoughts? Or other radically bizarre ones that haven’t been mentioned here? I’d love to hear them – leave them in the comments below. Until my next midnight snack! You go girl.

– J

Disclaimer: All photographs in this post were obtained from pixabay.com under a Creative Commons License. The featured image was designed on canva.com by J, exclusively for Beauty’s Expert Amateur.

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