Midnight Snack Musings

via Daily Prompt: Snack

So, this is my first Daily Prompt article. “Snack” was the most perfect word I could have started with – what better way to kick it off than writing about something – I must say -that I do pretty damn well? That’s right, snackers are a no-shame breed. Let’s take a break from beauty today, and I’m going to share the top 10 weirdest things that have crossed my mind whilst I’ve been chomping away into the wee hours.

  • If I dream about certain people in certain scenarios, are they experiencing that very same dream at that exact moment too?

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Image source: https://engaged-brains.wikispaces.com/Dream

I’ll be the first to say it – if that were the case, people would be having lots of awkward morning-after conversations. Or maybe no conversations at all, we do awkward eye contact pretty well as a species.

 

  • How did the first creators of language teach it to other people?

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Image source: http://help.beefree.io/hc/en-us/articles/204256781-Localizing-the-editor-changing-language

Using gestures? That being said, sign language counts as a language in itself, so how would they have taught sign language without using some kind of verbal communication or gestures? Which kind of puts language learning and teaching in this cycle – was there ever a real beginning?

  • Can we solve global warming by making a huge vacuum cleaner with a filter that just hoovers up all the pollution and greenhouse gases from the atmosphere?

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Image source: argos.co.uk

Actually, let’s make one that runs on all the nasty stuff we don’t need. I’ll be honest – this was one of my wackier childhood ideas (yes, I was that nerdy kid with round pink glasses and bunny teeth).

 

  • Why do cats watch you on the toilet?

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Image source: http://weheartit.com/entry/35983568

I mean, it’s hardly fair – they like their privacy when they’re using the litterbox. But somehow insist on keeping us company when we’re having our private time. Or climbing onto the side of the bathtub whilst we’re trying to unwind, and having a very one-sided staring competition.

P.S  Check out Cole and Marmalade (if you haven’t already) for more adorable footage of cats and their infallible logic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkSWgHKI5nk

  • We wear all sorts of gear to protect ourselves from handling strong acids, but we have a whole bag of it right inside our bodies.

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Image source: http://butternutrition.com/digestive-distress-metabolism-food-allergies/

Maybe we should make all the fancy protective gear that we wear in laboratories out of the stuff that our stomachs are made from. Maybe not for the more squeamish of us though, and I can’t imagine it would smell very nice either.

 

  • I’ve never finished using an eraser in my life. Or a ballpoint pen, for that matter.

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Image source: weknowmemes.com

You’d just be rubbing a piece of eraser dust all over your work by the time you got to the end of an eraser. With pens, I usually end up losing them before I’ve reached the end. Actually I do that with erasers too.

 

  • People often stress themselves out more when planning and following a holiday itinerary than during their usual daily life.

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Image source: http://www.montecitoheights.com/blog/cdubay/12-01-2015/how-cancer-cured-my-holiday-stress-catherine-dubay

I get that cultural exploration and broadening the mind is important, but surely a holiday means a time of relaxation and leisure? No, it really does – the Collins dictionary agrees with me. Maybe call it something else, like “recreation”. As long as it’s not as cringe-worthy as “thought shower”. Or “fecund”. Okay I’ll stop now.

  • If we’re all supposed to be individual and unique, that makes “normal” redundant – is this a good thing?

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Image source: picturequotes.com

Logically, “normal” would then mean everything and everyone being different. Which would contradict the use of the word to categorise things. Or people. But if that were true, how do we define “different”? There would be no “standard” to be different from, by way of comparison.

  • Why does unhealthy food always taste so much better than healthy food?

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Image source: https://www.bettycrocker.co.uk/recipes/chocolate-fudge-cake/

Just why? I desperately wish this were not the case, but it is. To any budding STEM geniuses with an interest in genetic engineering, let’s work on reprogramming our taste buds to fix that. In the meantime… *sprints to the nearest KFC*.

 

  • Why does snacking feel so good?

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Image source: https://nameberry.com/blog/what-are-your-guilty-pleasure-names

Hot toast, buttered with a sprinkle of sugar on top or slathered with honey. That’s all. Oh, you’re welcome.

– J

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